Contents
Brand
Flavor
Rating
8 of 10
Review
Disclaimer: Acme Valley sent me a complimentary box of 10 pints of ice cream to review. Thanks, Acme Valley! While the free pints provide me with the opportunity for this review, Acme Valley has no control over the opinions expressed.
Pint Description from the Acme Valley Website: “Infused with organic Moka Joe Coffee espresso, our full-strength Espresso Ice Cream packs a creamy, caffeinated punch. Moka Joe Coffee features sustainably-grown, small batch roasted espresso beans that are finely ground, not to mention certified Fair Trade and Organic. Add our deep, dark base and you get a take on espresso worthy of the coffee capital of the world.”
Overall: Acme Valley’s Espresso is not for the faint of heart.
It’s a bold and roasty coffee ice cream loaded with espresso coffee grounds. No punches pulled—COFFEE FLAVOR.
You may say, “Well, I like coffee. I drink double-sweet White Chocolate Mochas with whipped cream and, of course, Peppermint Mochas when Christmas time rolls around, and I must admit if pressed under oath, the occasional Chocolate Chip Frappe at McDonald’s—but only when I’m economizing.”
Well, I’m telling you, this pint ain’t for you. Yes, it’s sweet, but its heart is dark.
It’s for your aunt or your great aunt, not your momma.
Your auntie likes her stuffed olives, dill pickles, Judge Judy, and dark roast coffee–the darker, the better.
She has too many cats and too many door locks. She’s extra, has always been, will always be, extra—although she doesn’t know what that means exactly.
Her clothes are comfortable.
Her purse is basically luggage. It isn’t merely carried—it must be lugged around. It contains layers, strata, archaeological history. If you need something, it’s there in her purse–just give her a minute to find it, will ya? Her purse can be swung as a deadly weapon. In truth, it has been, on more than one occasion. So don’t mess with her—not today, anyway.
And her language is salty. She doesn’t give a good goddamn what you or anyone else thinks, and hasn’t since forever.
There are at this very moment three pints of Espresso ice cream in her freezer, and she’s having one for dinner and, maybe, who knows, another for breakfast tomorrow too.
Don’t you give her that look.
I love that this pint doesn’t flinch from a polarizing, bold coffee flavor.
The people who will embrace it know who they are. If you’re a coffee dark-sider, then this is your pint.
Everyone else: petition Starbucks to bring back the Unicorn Frappe.
Score: 8/10
Home Delivery
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Front blurb
Acme Valley
Full Strength Ice Cream
Espresso
Back blurb
Welcome to Acme Valley
Slow down and enjoy our full strength ice cream. The richest and most decadent ice cream you will ever taste. It clings as you pull the spoon up—a ribbon of deliciousness that melts when it meets your tongue.
Calories
- 3 servings per container
- Serving size: 2/3 cup
- Calories per serving: 430
- Calories per container: 1310
Ingredients
Cream, Milk, Cane Sugar, Non-GMO Dextrose, Non-Fat Milk Powder, Natural Flavor, Eggs, Ground Espresso Beans, Guar Gum.
CONTAINS: Milk, Eggs.
Purchase Location
Acme Valley Nationwide Shipping
Price
Free promotion
Books
Need to know how Acme Valley does it? Well, you’ll have to figure it out on your own. Acme Valley hasn’t put out a recipe book yet! Come on, Acme Valley! What’s the deal? We love you and want to get to know you better—to know all your little ice cream quirks and secrets. Publish that ice cream recipe book already!
Related
Psst! You can make ice cream like Ben & Jerry’s, Jeni’s, and Haagen-Dazs at home. Here’s their secret ice cream base recipes!
